existing in a crisis lyrics

I'm so tired of the stupid games you play
If I sat outside would you come watch me wait?
If I had a gun and shot it at your face?
Would you promise not to get out of the way?
If you happen to be able to avoid
My first attack I'll put a knife against your throat
and cut an inch for every time I lost my self-control
When you made me do the things I did at night when I got home

But I thought you'd change, and realize that today, today
(Evelyn) I know you lied I'd tell you that I'm alive for the first time
and I'm beggin you to leave here now, beggin you to stay away from me,
(I know you lied) but I'll tell you that I'm alive for the first time
and I'm beggin you to leave me now, beggin you to die painfully
(so painfully)

So this brings us to the backup of my plan,
Maybe I'll just have to strangle you with my bare hands,
Then you'll have to adhere to my demands,
And occupy a shallow grave, as shallow as you are

But I thought they'd change, and things just stay the same, the same
(Evelyn) I know you lied but I'd tell you that I'm alive for the first time
and I'm beggin you to leave here now, beggin you to stay away from me,
(I know you lied) but I'll tell you that I'm alive for the first time
and I'm beggin you to leave me now, beggin you to die

Sometimes content leads, leads to stagnance,
and stagnance, leads to contempt, comtempt leads to,
the present [x2]

But I thought you'd change, and things just stay the same, the same (Evelyn) I know you lied but I'll tell you that I'm alive for the first time
and I'm beggin you to leave here now, beggin you to stay away from me,
(I know you lied) but I'd tell you that I'm alive for the first time
and I'm beggin you to leave me now, beggin you to die

(Evelyn) (I know you lied) I'd tell you that I'm alive for the first time
and I'm beggin you to leave here now, beggin you to stay away from me [x2]