nylon smile lyrics

I'd like to laugh at what you said but I just can't find a smile
I wonder why I can't, I struggle with myself
Hoping I might change a little
Hoping that I might be someone I wanna be

Looking out I wanna know someone might care
Looking out I want a reason to be there
'Cause I don't know what I've done to deserve you
And I don't know what I'd do without you

Looking out I wanna know some way might clear
Looking out I want a reason to repair
'Cause I don't know what I've done to deserve you
And I don't know what I'll do without you

I can't see nothing good, nothing is so bad
I never had the chance to explain exactly what I meant