moving to florida lyrics

I'm going back down to Florida.
And I'm gonna bowl me a perfect game.
I'm gonna cut off my leg down in Florida?
And I'm gonna dance one-legged off in the rain.
Well they say that Sidney Poitier was a blind man.
And they say that LBJ was a Soviet Jew.
I said that when I go down to Florida way,
They're ain't no kind of sexual healing that I would not, should not, or could not do, say this right here!

Well I'm movin' down to Florida.
And you know that I'm gonna hafta potty train the chairman Mao.
I'm gonna make the governor write my doodoo a letter, child. And then I'm gonna grind me up a White Castle slider out of a India sacred cow.
Well, I'm going down to Florida, child
And I'm gonna build me the atomic bomb.
I'm gonna hold time hostage down in Florida, child.
Ain't nobody, ain't nobody, gonna tell me what to do.
Stepchild!

By this time I guess you've figured out about Florida.
Turn the muddy water in the Vaseline stained.
They be makin' tadpoles the size of Mercurys in Florida.
That be tellin' Julio Iglesias what to sing, now.
Now, whoever said that Sidney Poitier was a blind man?
Knew the same of Elvis Presley, too.
'cause all the saugages that dance like Ray Bolger on the hood of a car in the traffic jam,
No, just gettin set, couldn't...what to do, right here!

Well I be goin' th' mornin'
Pole cats settin' up a Seminole in sin.
even though I'm in Florida
Just like Vince, I wanna' win.
Well I'm in Florida.
I got hurt.
So I took all the children down in Florida.
I stuck the dick down in the dirt.
Well I'm never going back to Florida
That's why I'm leaving today
When I settle down in Florida
I'm gonna explode the whole damn Tampa Bay
Get that boy in Florida.
And teach him what to do.