mind of my own lyrics

It's four o' clock
The TV's on
My mind is shut off and my own thoughts are gone
I change my mind
I change the channel
I am influenced by everything I see
I change my life I want to leave it all behind
And I can't help it now
'Cause I don't have a mind of my own
Everything in my life just thinks for me

Trapped by depression and I sleep all day
Can't help this habit I'm in love with my disease
Worshiping my idle time a life I cannot seize
But zanax, valium, attavan makes it all ok
It's so much more than a cry for attention
No loving hands can soothe this ache
It's my own degradation it's my own self hate
So much more than a war with the world
I preach my pessimism
Right out loud to anyone who'll listen
I'm not afraid to be alive
I'm afraid to be alone

Late at night my monsters find me
From under the bed or right out of my past
Sanity gets put to the test
All alone with nobody to talk to
I close my eyes but I'm still haunted
Sometimes I get too twisted to sleep
As all my world crumbles all around me
Inspirations become admissions of defeat

Everything in my life just thinks for me'Cause I don't have a mind of my own