kill the dog next door lyrics

I once was a happy man of sound and stable mind
Then my neighbour bought a dog
He put a ribbon on its head to make it cute
But it still looked like a chihuahua
He had me over to watch it sit and beg
It bit my knee, and made love to my leg
Now it barks all the night and all of the day
Whenever it's not peeing on my lawn
I didn't get to sleep last night till very late
The stupid dog barked and grrrr'd
I got up late for work and ran to catch the bus
But I slipped on a turd
I was certain it wasn't one of mine
That that dog had crossed over the line
I wanted to exterminate it and all its kind
From my lovely little suburb
I'm gonna kill the dog next door
Ain't gonna bark anymore
'Cause this is Judgment Day
And the little runt has got to pay
No more turds on my lawn
That stupid mutt will soon be gone
Gonna kill kill kill kill kill kill kill that dog
I see the little monster in my garden
So I grab an axe and off I go
And I try my best to get it
All I do is sever my big toe
My neighbour comes outside to call me
He says his dog and me should just be friends
He puts his little pet in my forgiving hands
Then it starts to bite
So I strangle it with all my might
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
I'm gonna kill the dog next door (kill the dog next door)
Ain't gonna bark anymore
'Cause this is Judgment Day
And the little runt has got to pay
No more turds on my lawn (doo-doos on my lawn)
That stupid mutt will soon be gone
Gonna kill kill kill kill kill kill kill that dog
Now the stupid mutt's in doggy heaven
I strangled it to death and now I'm free
But my trouble ain't quite over
My neighbour called the cops on me
I end up at the police station
Where I am told that I must pay
A 300 dollar fine
Wow, what a good value
I think I'll kill my neighbour too!
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
I'm gonna kill the guy next door (kill the guy next door)
Won't call the cops anymore
I never liked him anyway
300 isn't much to pay
There are turds on my lawn (doo-doos on my lawn)
They must be his, his dog is gone
Gonna kill kill kill kill kill kill kill
Kill kill kill kill kill kill kill
Kill kill kill kill kill kill kill that guy!