i'm a lesbian lyrics

Please momma cant you see, I’ve always tried to please
I wore ribbons and jewelry and make up and perfume and dresses down to my knees
You said that it's a phase, just something I’d out grow
But I got a girlfriend and she's got a lawn that I’d sure like to mow
Go on and wish that Brad Pitt would come along
But I'd prefer Madonna in a lacy thong

'Cause I’m a lesbian, I don’t like nothing swinging 'tween their legs
Yeah I’m a lesbian, I don’t know why God gave me eggs
When I have sex it's fun and clean, and no man can come in between
No I don’t need no magic wand
I’m a lesbian

They talk behind my back and criticize my life
But I get no complaints from Lou Diamond Philips' wife

'Cause I’m a lesbian, I'd rather be with Jane than Dick
Yeah I’m a lesbian, a penis doesn’t do the trick
When we go in for 69, I know hers is the same as mine
So hide your wives cause here I come
I’m a lesbian

I’m a lesbian
When does cheer leading practice start
Hey there cutie