even if it kills me lyrics

I?ve got a lotta things to do tonight
I?m so sick of making lists of things I?ll never finish
I?ve lived here for the last twelve years
Since early 1995 all my shit has been in boxes

But if I had a little more time to kill
I?d settle every little stupid thing
Yeah, you?d think that I would

But I?m too tired to go to sleep tonight
And I?m too weak to follow dreams tonight

For the first time in a long time I can say
That I wanna try
To get better and overcome each moment
In my own way

I wonder if I?ll ever lose my mind
I tried hard for a while but then I kinda gave up
Winter is a killer when the sun goes down
I?m really not as stubborn as I seem
Said the knuckle to the concrete

But I?m too tired to go to sleep tonight
And I?m too weak to follow dreams tonight

For the first time in a long time I can say
That I wanna try
To get better and overcome each moment
In my own way

I?m not saying that I?m giving up
I?m just trying not to think as much as I used to
?Cause never is a lonely little messed up word
Maybe I?ll get it right some day

For the first time in a long time I can say
That I wanna try
I feel helpless for the most part
But I?m learning to open my eyes

And the sad truth of the matter is I?ll never get over it
But I?m gonna try
To get better and overcome each moment
In my own way

I so wanna get back on track
And I?ll do whatever it takes
Even if it kills me