skin of a drum lyrics

And I can't become my father
When it's all been said and done
His completions won't complete me
I've divided me by one

I'm the answer to his riddle
I'm the caution of his wind
I'm the spoon wedged between tongue and teeth
Beneath his trembling grin

And I dare add my revision
For I dare not suffer twice
And I dare not reinvent the past
And I dare not be the Christ

And I welcome any sufferer
And I welcome any Saul
Sitting in this room, on wooden bench
Waiting for Joi to call

And I suffer here alone, Lord
Perturbed by my every thought
How I've tried to strip them to the bone
I've struggled and I've fought

Every jealous warped intention
Smuggled, sewn into genes
Every hidden mongrel tendency
Exploiting me in me

Each time I put them under
But still they wanna test me
I cry out through the thunder
You storm right past me

I search and I ponder
I question and wonder
I roar and I thunder
Please let me in

I've been waiting here
For what now seems the better of an hour
I've raised every crippled question
From the dead and given power

To the absence of my sanity
The presence of a fear
That lies in between forgotten dreams
That pile up every year

Up above the highest testaments
Down below the wooden floor
There's a gutted room, pitch black at noon
Beneath a hidden door

Deep within you'll find
The attributes of every sunken man
Who must bang his head against the dead
Each day he tries to stand

And he's standing pressed against
The very woman that he loves
Kissing eyes and lips, embracing hips
Surrendering to her touch

And just at the very moment
That he touches heart to heart
She pulls from his touch
'Cause it's too much to mend what's torn apart

Each time I put them under
But still they wanna test me
I cry out through the thunder
You storm right past me

I search and I ponder
I question and wonder
I roar and I thunder
Please let me in

It's so hard to be the man I would be
If hatred and fear no longer appeared
I swear I've become the skin of a drum
The heart of a man, divided I stand