across five years lyrics

i said im crazy one more time and hidden ghosts denied myself with every joke pick up the phone and wonder why so many years of hidden drinks pushed down too far to ever win locked doors this was not me this could never be me antique and out of reach remembering so many times so many lies ran so fast the years passes blind so much time lost killing five whatever poison you may drink another list of "no's" persist hit the floor or hit and miss crashed this side of happiness i lose my life and take it back without the strength to follow through walked right past this life and you just one more guess just one more chance just one more life or circumstance one more call taking a chance on circumstance